Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
