If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
