Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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