we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize