Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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