feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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