Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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