you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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