How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I want to make a zoo with you.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
