I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
