Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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