I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
