So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize