Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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