bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
