This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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