Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
