Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
