The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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