I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
