just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
