Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
