he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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