Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
