one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I will pee on everything he values.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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