im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
