dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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