ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
accomplished twins. life is a go
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I have feelings that need drinking.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So vagazzling was a success
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