Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
