Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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