The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
