"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
