You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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