So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
