I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
