Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Let the clothes fall where they may.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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