My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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