Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
