You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
