So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
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She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
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And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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