So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
They have beer where we have blood.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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