i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
