I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
