I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it's like iHOP with fire
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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