The brown eye won't let me do that either.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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