Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
