Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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