please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
