Moan for me like Helen Keller
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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