HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize