my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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