Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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