I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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