Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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