I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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