we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
