That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
