So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
