That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
